Fantasy Football – Review

A daughter discovers she can magically control the performance of her football-playing father through her gaming console.

I remember when I was a kid and the one thing that thrilled me was watching those original Disney Channel movies. You know, like “The Thirteenth Year”, the one about the merman or my favorite at the time “The Luck of the Irish”, the basketball-playin’ leprechaun. Movies that just were as silly as humanly possible with none of the stigmas of a real movie so to speak. You just pressed “play” and your brain became a pulsating mush, leaving behind all rational thoughts. A sugar rush. That was my mindset.

Sucks that this stinks so much to high heavens that I couldn’t even give the movie that much.

Now, I’m a grown-ass man so in fairness I am not the demo for this type of product. My job is to write what I feel about watching this. And it was a chore to sit through all 90+ minutes and to be honest, I don’t even know if kids would sit through this entire thing, which is saying something. However, I do wanna shout out some positives, first the cast. You can say a lot about this (and I will), but one of the things that really struck out was the energy they bring, especially Marsai Martin, playing the daughter. Remember when you saw the pregnant teenage show that starred Shailene Woodley and thought; “She’s so much better than the show is?” Yeah, I’ll put Maesai in here, she’s really good in here and destined for the big stuff. She brings this infectious energy and charm that’s really needed, even when the product goes off the rails. Omari Hardwick is no slouch either, this role could have been insufferable to watch, a man-child stuck in a 280-pound beefcake, but I chuckled in some places thanks to him. My favorite part about this was the first 20 minutes, which brought all those good Disney memories of those movies I’ve mentioned (Even though this is a Nickelodeon production) and goofiness. Then it all went downhill with STUPID jokes, cliche after cliche, and frankly one of the most baffling preposterous endings I’ve seen in a while. Now, I would usually excuse this given this is a product marketed for kids. This is not exactly high art but here’s the thing that really bothered me. It seems that after the first 20 minutes all energy was sucked out of this. “Jingle all the Way” is the stupidest movie ever but the energy is so off the charts that it really saves that movie and it’s always watchable.

This sucks to write since there’s actually really great talent in front of the camera, but I would skip this. There’s far better content for family and kids streaming than this glorified and bland NFL commercial.

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